“Perhaps it was a tired thing, all the references the world had already made to the Ptolemaic Royal Library of Alexandria.”
First line in The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake
As the title suggests, today I’m reacting to 5-star reviews of books I didn’t like. I’ve done this before but almost two years ago so I’ve given a lot of books 1 or 2 stars since then so I had plenty to choose from for this post. And I’m also on holiday so I needed an easy post.
The last time I did this, I learned that it was easier for me to accept people not liking my favorite books than it was to accept people loving books I hated. So I’m sorry for what you’re about to read if you loved any of these.
The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow
If they think it’s reminiscent of The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue then that explains why I hated it so much. Now that I think about it, Addie and January aren’t that different. They go on different journeys but essentially they’re the same person. Both don’t have much personality outside of being stubborn.
I also didn’t like the prose because it’s the kind of prose that’s trying to be beautiful while saying stuff that doesn’t make sense. Take two seconds to think about a sentence and you’re going to realize this book isn’t such a masterpiece after all.
Fool’s Fate (Tawny Man #3) by Robin Hobb
Both review and my commentary include SPOILERS
…Did they just say they loved the ending??? HOW?!? It literally unraveled everything and set several characters back to somewhere in The Farseer Trilogy and made the entire trilogy pointless! What was that ending the reviewer had imagined that was supposedly worse than this? And they didn’t think this “happy reversal” was forced? What book did they read?!? It’s the most forced ending I’ve ever read! Just because Hobb dedicated (too much) time to give everyone a “happy” ending doesn’t mean it’s any less forced when everyone was acting out of character. And Molly’s “evident regard of poor old Fitz”? First of all, isn’t Fitz like 36? Old? Second of all, Fitz literally forced his way into her life so where exactly is that evident regard of hers? And how is it heartening?
Elantris by Brandon Sanderson
I also had so many feels reading Elantris but I doubt they were the same ones. And it IS his worst book. I think even people who like it say that and I’m seriously concerned for this person if everything else they’ve read is so much worse. I wonder what they ended up thinking of his other books when they clearly didn’t think it could get any better than Elantris.
I guess you can say his character development is flawless but that’s just because his characters are so one-dimensional it’s hard to make a mistake when writing them. And the reason they didn’t know how it was going to end was probably more because glaring plot holes made it impossible to guess anything rather than it was because of good writing.
The Last Magician by Lisa Maxwell
I’m sorry but this review is blasphemous! They dare compared The Last Magician to Six of Crows and The Night Circus, both books that are superior in every way. Yeah, no, those books weren’t as basic as The Last Magician so I guess that was what the reviewer was looking for. I’m also curious to know where they spotted those “well developed” characters because I didn’t see them. Were they hiding?
The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake
No, no, no, no, no. You do not have Parisa as your favorite character! I’m sorry, but I can’t help but judge people for that. She spends the entire book assaulting people but the reviewer loves that for her? Okay then.
I can get behind finding all the characters interesting in some way but I wouldn’t say I was excited to read about all of them, only two. And I guess that if you love a pretentious book, The Atlas Six is great. I just don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say that pretentiousness “completely made the book” for them.
Next week will be the opposite of this: 1-star reviews of books I loved and then my holiday will be over and my creativity could return (hopefully). I’m also writing this part as we have a heatwave and it’d be great if that could disappear too. I’m doing everything in slow motion including dying.
But have you read any of these books and agree with either me or the reviews? Let me know in the comments!
First Line Reader 
I never clicked faster than when I saw the title of this! 🤗 You might write review reactions off as an easy post, but I absolutely love them!! And I was cackling pretty much throughout the whole thing because you were so wonderfully petty! 🤣
Anyway, we agree on pretty much everything – except the quality of Addie LaRue and Fool’s Fate 😁 However, even though I liked Fool’s Fate, I am absolutely flabbergasted how that person could possibly like the ending?!!? 🤯😨🤯 Like, seriously, what kind of ending where they picturing if they thought this was better? And how could they possibly consider it happy??? FITZ AND THE FOOL HAD THEIR BOND BROKEN AND FITZ BARELY EVEN NOTICED!! IT WAS THE SADDEST ENDING EVER, OKAY?! 😭
Also, I still haven’t read every Brandon Sanderson book, so I can’t be completely sure whether Elantris is his worst, but that doesn’t stop me from being concerned about that reviewer right along with you. Seriously, what else have they been reading if they think the character interactions are flawless?? Or did they somehow miss all of Galladon’s sules and kolos, Raoden’s stubbed toe, and Sarene and Raoden’s absolutely ship-worthy romance? Although I suppose I still find loving Elantris less concerning than loving Parisa… 😅
However, in my opinion, you’re letting that Last Magician reviewer off easy – they didn’t just compare that book to Six of Crows and The Night Circus, but they said it did things better. I AM SORRY, BUT IT DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETTER!! THE BEGINNING DRAGGED ON AND ON FOREVER AND IT WAS BEYOND PREDICTABLE! I don’t regret unhauling it for a second 😇
But anyway, I hope you’re enjoying your vacation (Did you tell any Swedes the tiger liked them yet? 👀), and I’m looking forward to those 1-star reactions so much! Although if you put as many books I’ve read into that one as in this one, I think I’ll have to brace myself for a lot of pain. Because unlike you, I find it way more painful to see other people hating books I loved than the other way around! 😅
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I do also really like reading posts like these myself! And I had a lot of fun being petty 😂
And when I read that review of Fool’s Fate, I knew I had to react to it! Most other 5-star reviews still had a little negative comment about the ending and then there was this one 😂 I guess the ending could be seen as happy if you squint as Fitz ends it with that (bullshit) line: I am content. I mean, all evidence points to the contrary but he said it 🙄
And oh yes, they can love Elantris all they want as long as they realize Parisa is a bad person! You can’t just pull the girlpower card whenever a woman does anything!
I’m glad you provided the rant on that The Last Magician reviewer then 😂 I definitely felt just as angry about those comparisons because they couldn’t be more different quality-wise 😤
I’m sorry to disappoint but I haven’t had the tiger-conversation with any Swedes yet 😂 I also only just arrived today so I’m still at that stage where I’m wondering whether I understand Swedish as well as I thought I did 😅 Reading it is fine but I swear it’s a different language when they start speaking!
And I don’t think the next post is going to be super painfull for you (if I remember correctly). There’s defintely one I’m pretty sure you’re going to relate to a lot 😉
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That line at the end of Fool’s Fate was the biggest lie ever 😤 I refuse to believe that any sane person would buy it, and am at least slightly mollified that other five-star reviewers weren’t satisfied, either! Although, still – if they had issues, why did they rate it five stars? 🤔
And lololol, after spending time in the Netherlands, I relate to that 🤣 When seeing Dutch written, I still have something of a chance at understanding the gist of stuff, but when they start talking I’m hopelessly lost 😅 Although I’d always heard that all Scandinavians can understand the Swedes and that it’s the Danes who scramble up everything beyond recognition… So you should have nothing to complain about! 😜
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Well clearly people don’t have as strong feelings as us about the ending so they’re just noticing that the ending could have been better 😒
And Danes understand Norwegian much better than Swedish because Swedish have so many more words that have nothing to do with Danish 😅 But yes, I speak the worst and the ugliest of the Scandinavian languages. We’re very aware of that 😂 It’s like we couldn’t decide whether to speak German or Norwegian so we ended up in the middle with something that makes sense to no one 😆
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I’m a sucker for secret societies, so I’ll probably end up reading The Last Magician and The Atlas Six. Wish me luck! 💀
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I wish you the best of luck with those books! 😄 Especially with The Last Magician because I wouldn’t say the secret society aspect is the most prevalent one 🤔 But I’d be really curious about your thoughts on The Atlas Six and the way it handles secret societies.
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