Fun Lists

Fantasy Characters as Eurovision Participants

“Every city is a ghost.”

First line in Lair of Dreams by Libba Bray

You’ve read the title of this post and now you’re thinking: what the hell is this? Well, it is the result of me thinking I should find a way to combine two of my favorite things: Fantasy and Eurovision. It is Wyrd and Wonder month and today, Saturday, is also the day of the Eurovision Grand Final, so I have tried to imagine what it would be like to have Fantasy characters enter the European singing competition. I mean, Australia has already been welcomed in so including fictional book characters is the next logical step if you ask me. And hey, the Eurovision movie was nominated for a Hugo Award (yeah, I’m also confused), so this is actually the perfect post for Wyrd and Wonder.
For each of the characters, I’ll be imagining what their performance would be like, whether they’d be popular among fans and so on. I’ll even give a totally fake song title that is a subtle reference to their respective books. Enjoy!

Performers: Merry and Pippin (Lord of the Rings)
Song Title: The Green Dragon

If you’ve watched the movie Return of the King, you’ll already have seen a sneak peek of their performance. At Eurovision, they will also be dancing on tables alongside other hobbits from the Shire and generally have a very good time. As it is a song about beer, they wanted to have actual beer on stage (and drink it obviously), but the Eurovision people said no. Nevertheless, a drinking song will always be popular in Europe, and they should be a clear fan-favorite.

Performer: Nina Zenik (Six of Crows)
Song Title: Your Heart is Mine

Canonically, Nina has a terrible singing voice, but she would love the spectacle that is Eurovision. She will have a very elaborate stage show with dancers and vibrant colors, and afterwards she will probably go and eat waffles in the greenroom. And no, she can’t sing, however, she is able to stop your heart if you don’t vote for her. She will know if you didn’t.

Performer: Kaladin Stormblessed (The Stormlight Archive)
Song Title: Sweet Sorrow

When Brandon Sanderson wrote about Kaladin, he clearly forgot to mention his amazing singing talent. That, however, does not mean that Kaladin will love being at Eurovision. He has been forced by Syl who was very adamant about him needing to get out more. It isn’t a major success though, first of all, because his song is a depressing ballad, but also because he really doesn’t know how to create the proper stage show (and he refused to ask Adolin for help), so he will just be standing there looking pretty. Which will also get him some points but not a lot.

Performer: Kvothe (Kingkiller Chronicle)
Song Title: Me, Myself and I

Naturally, Kvothe shows up with a masterpiece that ensures that he has the juries in the palm of his hand. His stage show is simple with him playing the lute in front of a forest backdrop, and in true Eurovision fashion, he even sings a part of the song in a language nobody understands. He will get a mixed reception among Eurovision fans as many will appreciate the song, but they will also notice how he seems a bit full of himself in interviews.

Performers: The cast of The Magicians (the TV show, not the books)
Song Title: Peaches and Plums

This cast has proven that they should enter (and win) a singing competition several times, so of course, they would jump at the opportunity to participate in Eurovision. Especially Eliot and Margo will feel right at home, and they are also the group’s lead singers alongside Kady. They steal the spotlight with their outgoing personalities, and they truly create a party on stage. Which is good because it draws attention away from those in the background. Quentin is fumbling around, not really knowing what he’s doing while Alice is be too busy rolling her eyes at him to do anything else. Someone would claim they had spotted Penny as well for a second in the beginning but then he was suddenly gone again.

Performers: Henry DuBois and Theta Knight (The Diviners)
Song Title: Let’s Take a Stroll in My Dreams

Henry and Theta are bringing 1920s America to Eurovision and they are more than welcome. Henry will be singing at the piano while Theta will be dancing alongside other Ziegfeld girls in a show that involves quite a bit of fire that no one really knows where is coming from. Overall, Henry and Theta are very popular because everyone is in love with their close friendship and chemistry together.

How do you think they’d fare? Who would you vote for? (Don’t worry, I don’t Nina will actually kill you). Is this a very weird post? (hint: yes). But let me know what you think in the comments! Happy Wyrd and Wonder and Eurovision!

8 thoughts on “Fantasy Characters as Eurovision Participants

  1. Even though I’m not as Eurovision obsessed as you are, I have to admit that this post is pure genius! I’m still cackling over Kvothe’s song choice, and although I’m pretty sure his performance was probably among the best musically speaking (I mean, all that practice and those performances at the Eolian must have been good for something 🤔), I think the manner of deliverance will have me rooting for Pippin and Merry instead! There’s no way you couldn’t love those two, and I’m sure they’ll have the audience singing along in great spirits (pun intended 😜) in no time! 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, I’m also way too obsessed with Eurovision, but I’m happy you liked the post anyway 😁 When I came up with that song title for Kvothe I just knew I couldn’t pick anything else. And I also think Merry and Pippin’s performance would be so much fun to watch and that’s what’s most important 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  2. This was so much fun to read!! I am not familiar with most of these characters, but I still got very invested in this concept. If juries in this Eurovision are like the real-life Eurovision juries, they’ll love Kvothe’s entry. Might as well be of the extremely rare instances when the public agrees with them, too 😝.

    Many of these could place amongst my favourites, but my personal douze points would go to Merry and Pippin! I mean, my country did send Alcohol is Free once and it sounds like they have similar energies.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The public and the juries agreeing on a song? 😱 That sounds unbelievable but maybe a fantasy Eurovision is what it takes. There are definitely possibilities with Kvothe.

      And I had forgotten about Alcohol is Free and just had to listen to it again and yes! Merry and Pippin’s song is literally just the fantasy version of that 😂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Line Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.